Last night, I had a reoccuring dream. The same thing that haunted me fo the past 3 years. It was all so real. My heart skipped a beat a few times. I remember waking up feeling lost. Cold sweat running down my spine. Never have I thought about it. But last night, I woke up thinking about the events that was happening that very day.
When friends asked me about how was life in Detention Barracks. I only tell them how the daily life was. But I never really told them what was going through my mind. I remember the day clearly. It was 31st January 2007. That morning I had bloodshot eyes. I didn't sleep a wink the night before. During that time. I remembered that I was having the toughest period of my life. Many uncertainties. My mind was roving here and there. Thinking of random thoughts. But, the only person I had in my mind was Liana. Days before that dreadful day, she found out something. Something about me. I admit I wa stupid, I was an idiot for running my mouth afoul. She decide to call it quits back then. But somehow after that. Something took place. An event that will change me and her totally. I was caught for driving an army truck. To be exect, a 5 ton man truck. I had no valid military license. I knew my days in camp were numbered. So on the 30th January 2007. That evening, I met her. Under my block. I apologised to her and told her that I'm not gonna see her for quite sometime. I, was granted nights off by my officer to actually go home and explained to my parents what exectly happen. But had to report to camp on the same night by 2330hrs. I told her that I was goin in the detention barracks for something stupid. She didn't believe me at first. So on that night, I returned to camp. My friends found out. They were telling me that its alright. No matter what I am still gonna be a part of the family. They told me that they will throw me a party when I got out. That same night. I spent my nights talking to her on the phone. That morning before I was taken away I called her. She told me that she forgave me and she needed time. The moment my specialist handcuffed my hands. My heart went heavy. Rock heavy. I was leaving it up to faith. Whatever that is going to happen while I was in there. Its God's will. I was supposedly sentenced to 40 days. But, thanks to my good record before the incident and thanks to my officers. I was charged to serve 10 days. 10 long days.
On the first night. I remembered, that I slept like a log. Its just because of the sleepless hours the night before. But before I closed my eyes. I prayed to Allah Swt. I asked for his blessings for me to go through this ordeal in one piece and to give me the strength I need. Then I prayed for the safety of my parents. Then lastly I prayed for her. I remember me saying. Ya Allah, lindungi la dia dari segala bencane dan kesusahan. Permudahkan perjalanan hidup dia. Amin. Every night without fail. I will pray for her. I reflected alot in life when I was in there. During the stay in there. My mind drifts into thinking that she have given up on me. I was ready to face all of that when I get out. I thought about what my dad is doing? What my mum is doing? But mostly my mind was on her. How is she doing? What she is doing? I even told my cell mates about her. They said. Bro you are one lucky Mother Fucker for having someone like her. Its just that you don't appreciate her. Those words hit me hard. I remembered my dad and sis visiting me 3 days before my release. I told my sis to give her a message. Just 3 words. I Love You.
In 10 days. I've never forgotten about her. Everyday while waiting in between the meal times. I never stopped thinking about her. I realise how much I love her. On the day of my release. The moment I reached camp. I stepped out of the gp car. I went on my knees and kissed the ground. It was a show of how glad I am to be back in camp. The taste of freedom couldn't be better. I rushed up to my bunk. Open my cupboard and switched on my phone. I recieved a msg from her. It says. I miss you sayang. Come home soon. I called her and I told her I missed her so much. That evening was a Saturday 10th Febuary 2007. Met her at Jurong East Mrt. She wearing this red and white striped knee length dress. She was the best sight on earth. I walked up to her and Hugged her.
That very moment. I realised that she was everything in my life. I love her then. I still love her now.
Labels: You Gotta Stand Up No Matter How Bad You Fall
Date/time: 11/02/2010 08:45:00 AM
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